FOR THE LOVE OF SPOTTED COW AND ALL THOSE DELICIOUS FROZEN PORK CUTLETS AT KWIK TRIP! Let me tell you about the time I had a disagreement with my old buddy Blake over whether it was better to put ketchup or mustard on a Polish sausage. That’s what brought us here, folks. To Luka Doncic in custody battle for his daughters.
Now we’ve all heard of parents fighting over their kids – and sometimes that fight gets ugly enough to make the front page! But let me ask you this: have any of those other stories involved a dude who’s raking it in at $165 million per three years playing basketball? I mean, Doncic signed his contract extension with the Lakers back in August. That’s like winning a major lottery jackpot for most folks – and probably more than that considering taxes! And yet here he is: fighting over custody of not one but two daughters.
Let me tell you a story about my buddy Blake and Polish sausages. So we were at this dive bar on Highway 12, drinking cheap beers and eating those big ol’ Polish sausages with peppers and onions (you know the ones I’m talking about – they’re like little flavor bombs). Anyway, Blake starts arguing that ketchup is better than mustard for these things. Now me being from Mukwonago where Culver’s has some of the best frozen custard in Wisconsin, I naturally sided with mustard. “Dude,” I said to him over a plate of nachos (yeah, they had ’em at this Polish sausage dive), “you gotta have that tangy kick.”
Blake just shook his head and kept saying ketchup is better. He’s from Illinois – not exactly known for its rich sauerkraut-making traditions or mustard-potato-sausage-filled history like we Wisconsinites are! Anyway, things started getting a little heated (sound familiar?). Before I knew it, our nachos were on the floor and so was my beer. Oh yeah… that’s when you know there might be some deeper issues going on.
Now let me take this back to Doncic for just one sec before we get into more tangents because like any good story worth telling has its twists and turns – right, folks? So I guess these two daughters of Luka have been split between the States and Slovenia. It’s no wonder they want a custody battle over them! You see, it wasn’t too long ago that Doncic proposed to his girlfriend Anamaria after knowing her for years in their youth. And then suddenly he gets traded from Dallas to Los Angeles – which is like moving your family across the country for most people.
Now imagine you’re playing at this super high level and all of a sudden, BAM! You have to leave that girl you love behind and go to some big city where everyone’s got their own agenda. It’s not easy, folks. I mean just ask my buddy Blake about those Polish sausages…
But anyway… back to Doncic! The dude flew out to Slovenia for the birth of his second daughter Olivia because that means everything when a guy is in your shoes – you’re getting paid top dollar and yet he had no idea this fiancé would file some petition asking for child support. And here’s the kicker: she took all her pictures with him off Instagram!
And what really gets my blood boiling (and I’m just saying it like that because when Blake got upset, his face used to get redder than a perfectly cooked cheese curd) is Doncic has been paying without limitation for these little munchkins’ expenses. That’s some serious financial commitment right there! You’d think he could count on the love of his life to want what’s best for them too…
But let me tell you about another time I got into a tussle with Blake (that guy loves Polish sausages and gets worked up over pretty much anything, including my ketchup vs mustard debate) at this random bar in Lake Geneva. It was like something out of the Wild West! He kept shouting that ketchup would be better on our little hot dogs because it’s sweeter. I’m telling you folks, just talking about sports can get a guy worked up.
Anyway… we’ve got Doncic seeking an injunction to see his girls more often and those Lakers (39-25) hosting the Minnesota Timberwolves tonight! Maybe after this game he’ll be able to have some closure over his whole situation. But I’m not holding my breath – there’s nothing quite as unpredictable as a custody battle.
I guess when it comes down to it, we’re all just trying our best out here… unless you’re Blake who insists ketchup is better than mustard on Polish sausages!
One-Ry Out.