FOR THE LOVE OF SPOTTED COW! You know what’s wild about sports news lately? The less we talk about actual games, the better. Like that Italy vs. United States World Baseball Classic matchup from last night – I mean come on, who cares if they scored 8-6 when there were only like five people watching?
Now where was I? Ah yes! You know what really caught my eye in this one-sided game? The pitching performance by Michael Lorenzen for the US team. Four and two thirds innings pitched without giving up a single run? FOR THE LOVE OF SPOTTED COW, THAT’S HOW YOU PITCH IN A BASEBALL GAME!
I swear sometimes I think teams just try to make things more difficult than they need be. Italy had six hits total – six! Six! You’d have thought the pitcher was some kinda wizard casting spells out there making batters miss. But nope, it’s good ol’ fashioned baseball magic by Lorenzen and his teammates.
Of course, we all know this one-sided game isn’t what made headlines today (although I’m not complaining about that either). No sir! The real talk is about Blake Snell walking off the field in a huff after being replaced as the starter. FOR THE LOVE OF SPOTTED COW AND ALL YOU FROZEN PORK CUTLETS AT KWIK TRIP, WHAT A GUY!
Now I know some of you might be thinking ‘Blake who?’ Well let me tell you – Blake Snell is that lefty pitcher from San Diego. You see the problem here was not his pitching skills (although those didn’t quite mesh with last night’s team performance), but rather a little disagreement he had with manager AJ Hinch over his role in this game.
It looks like it went something like this: Hinch thinks Snell is done for the day, Snell doesn’t want to be done. The rest of the pitchers are thinking ‘Hey buddy you’re up!’ and Blake’s all “Uh no thanks!” Meanwhile I’m just sitting here trying not to make too many snide comments about players who can’t seem to get their act together.
It really got me wondering, though – how often does this sorta thing happen? Do we hear much about pitchers walking off the field in a huff when it’s all said and done? Probably more than you think, if I’m being honest. At least they’re consistent like that Culver’s ButterBurger Deluxe with its perfectly toasted bun.
But hey let’s not get too bogged down in pitching shenanigans! There were some real heroes on the field last night (and by “heroes” I mean whoever was able to put a stop to this Italy scoring streak). For one, there’s Michael Lorenzen. Two for two is an impressive feat right? Especially when it feels like every other game has become more about the weather forecast than anything else happening on that diamond.
So who do we have next up in this World Baseball Classic tournament? Well according to my research (and by “research” I mean Wikipedia), it seems they’re going all out with the big leagues – teams from Japan, South Korea and Canada are joining Italy and the US for a round of pool play. You know what that means! It’s time to dust off those old baseball cards, fire up some Culver’s ButterBurger Deluxe (you never go wrong!), and get ready for more thrilling games like last night!
You can bet I’ll be keeping an eye on these teams – especially after this Italy game. Eight runs scored in one single outing? FOR THE LOVE OF SPOTTED COW! That’s a whole lotta baseball magic if you ask me.
And hey, who knows maybe we’ll even get some more drama like Blake Snell walking off the field and whatnot. But let’s be real here – that kinda stuff just adds to the game, makes it all the more interesting right? Like Michael-Vincent said once “Life is a rollercoaster of emotions” but honestly I think he was talking about baseball games.
But hey at least we can count on one thing: with these teams and this World Baseball Classic going strong, there’s plenty to look forward to in the coming days. So grab yourself some cheese curds, fire up that grill (or better yet – go down to Kwik Trip!), get comfy and enjoy the show! Just don’t forget your earplugs for all those wild pitching performances we’re bound to see.
You know I’ll be here rooting on our good ol’ US team. And hey if they ever need some advice, just send ’em my way – after all that experience calling out Culver’s ButterBurger Deluxes at the local diner doesn’t make a guy an expert but still…
One-Ry Out.