For the love of frozen custard and fresh baked donuts at Kwik Trip! It’s me again, The Ry-Guy from Mukwonago, WI; a place where we know a thing or two about clocking out when it comes to sports. And speaking of clockin’ out – boy oh boy do we have some news for you today!
Our old pal Greg Newsome II is back in action (or should I say, lack thereof), as he’s signed with the New York Giants for a one-year gig that’ll pay him up to ten large ones. You heard me right folks – this kid who was once drafted by Cleveland in 2018 and then traded off to Jacksonville like an unwanted Christmas gift last October is now gracing us with his presence in New York City (or should I say, the Big Apple?!).
But hey, let’s not get too excited just yet. This guy may have had a few highlights here and there – four interceptions over five seasons ain’t nothing to sneeze at! But overall, this Newsome fella has been as reliable as finding a decent fish fry on Christmas Day in Milwaukee (and we all know how tough that is!). Just look at the stats: 29 tackles in his last season with Jacksonville and a whopping 52 for the entire year. I mean, c’mon son! Even Blake from down the street could do better than that after chugging a few Mike’s Hard Lemonade (don’t tell his mom though).
And what about this passer rating stat they’re throwing around? Newsome had an abysmal 99.1 mark last season which apparently means he was pretty much useless on defense, right? I mean, if you can’t even keep up with the other guys in your position group then maybe it’s time to reevaluate things buddy!
Now don’t get me wrong here – I’m not one to kick a man when he’s down but let’s be real: Newsome has been more “hit and miss” than my old pal Michael-Vincent on his weekly bowling night. One week he’ll bowl a perfect game (or at least close enough) while the next, well… let’s just say those pins ain’t falling too easily for him!
So what does this all mean? Well folks, it looks like our boy Greg is now part of the gang over in New York City where they’re apparently desperate enough to sign anyone who can breathe without drowning (no offense intended). I’m sure he’ll fit right into their “defense first” mentality which seems about as effective as trying to catch snowflakes with your tongue… not gonna happen folks!
But hey, at least it’s only a one-year deal so if things go south (and let’s be honest here – they probably will), then we can just send him back where he came from like an unwanted Christmas present once again! And who knows? Maybe by then Blake’ll have given up bowling altogether and we might even find ourselves with another reliable player on our hands after all… or maybe not. Only time (and a whole lot of beer) will tell folks – only time indeed!
In other news, my dear friends at Culver’s just added apple pie flavored custard to their menu so you know what that means: it’s game day bitches! This Ry-Guy out
One-Ry Out.